Heather's profileiluvnerdsPhotosBlogListsMore  |  Tools Help |
|
August 17 2nd Semester Med School: An open doorIt's amazing how the mind changes. I was just reading a previous posts concerning my belief that I am where I'm where I'm supposed to be in medical school. Recently, I've not felt this way; I've looked around and had a hard time believing that I'm in the right place. This has probably been the most difficult term of school I have ever had in my life and I truly have had no clue what to do. Yet, it has also been a great time. The bible study that my friend and I started was a success; I'm getting a taste of ministering to future physicians and I love it.
So I follow Daddy's advice: I pray then think. Prayer is one of my favorite things. Talking to the God of the Universe is one of the coolest things you can do. In doing so, today, I was reminded of this scripture.
Revelation 3:8 (Amplified Bible): "I know your [record of] works and what you are doing. See! I have set before you a door wide open which no one is able to shut; I know that you have but little power, and yet you have kept My Word and gaurded My Message and have not renounced or denied My Name."
An open door, I've been thinking about what that means for me right now. I've even been considering whether or not it is best to continue. The door is still open. My health and grades have taken a significant beating, yet I stillI have an open door.... July 21 What is your calling? How do you find it?Imagine you just got a new job and you’re trying to impress your boss. Or you’ve met someone you think could be the One. You do whatever it takes to find out about that person and learn what makes them tick. How? Talk to’em.
So in this case, PRAY. “God, I repent for the life I have been living that does not have you at the center. Please show me how to live for You, to be true to my calling, to be a vessel for you.” It’s a lifelong dialogue. When we pray we have to be open to what God has to say? If you’re not sure when you’re hearing Him… Here’s a quick test: whatever you hear will align with God’s Word. God is interested in hearing from you, and talking to you. There is nothing you can say that God is not able to hear. It’s an ongoing exchange that makes the verse “Pray without ceasing” come to life.
Life! Therein lies the whole reason for all this. Most of us die without ever having lived.
Prov. 21:21 (Amplified Bible) “He who earnestly seeks after and craves righteousness, mercy, and loving-kindness will find life in addition to righteousness (uprightness and right standing with God) and honor.”
John 10:10: The enemy comes but to steal, to kill, and to destroy, but I have come that you might have life and have it to the full.
If I could take a stab at it, I would say that CALLING is choosing to be God’s vessel for His use and purposes, total surrender. So what am I supposed to do? You are a human being, not a human doing. Start the conversation and the rest will fall into place. It is an ongoing process of exchanges between you and God (always). God is the one who accomplishes His will through you.
Surrender, that’s huge. It doesn’t happen overnight; as on aspect of sanctification, it’s a process. Not to mention this is counter intuitive.
There is nothing you can do to make God love you less, and nothing you can do to make God love you more; HE JUST LOVE YOU.
Quick video (“God’s Chisel”): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXut0HxncvY
The FINE PRINT: Once you start this journey, you are responsible for what you learn, and can no longer claim ignorance. The FINE FINE PRINT: It’s probably not a mystery; it’s probably an answer to your heart’s desire. July 20 True to the Call...Today a thought has been brewing in my mind and I wanted to share it with someone before closing out my night. I've been thinking about how I joke with others concerning life questions...When will Prince Charming/Pincess come? What am I doing after medical school? Where will we live? What am I really doing with my time? am I really that busy? Why are things working out the way they are?... (INSERT your life question here!) Now to answer a question with a question...Are you being true to your calling? What does this have to do with anything? Some of us in this note have a very interesting callings. I can speak for me and say that I have failed to take it seriously or esteem it in the fashion that I should. I have compromised in order to fit in and be "normal". Determined that there are just some things about me that cannot be helped. (<--Haha..that sounds really ignorant when we think about Who our help is.) Calling is not necessarily your job but that thing that God especially designed you for. Do you know what yours is? If not, ask the manufacturer. Sorry, God does not have a gossip line with me. :o) Often times it involves the things you love, dream about, and cherish. As we engage Him everything about us changes and bare his fingerprint. The calling...it changes everything. It changes how we are able to relate to others,lifestyle, what we desire, how we go about getting answers, the answers we're willing to accept, how we view challenges...in short, again, it changes everything. Please don't get it twisted, just b/c things may look like they are going well, that does not mean you're being true to the call. Some are going first class in the wrong direction. Stopped b/c we decided we'd gone far enough. Through off the mantle b/c it was too heavy. Allowed our living sacrfices to crawl off the altar. Whatever your bent...stay strong in the struggle. It's a process, a marathon, not a sprint. "If mountains were smooth then we wouldn't be able to climb them." --unk June 17 Walking on Water: The day I wanted to quitThis is probably the most distracting time of my life. While in medical school, you're surrounded by smart people, with way more interesting lives, who know loads of stuff. Constant feelings of competition and comparison are competing for thought time within my limit cranium.
FREEZE! Where's your focus? On them. On your current circumstance. On life. On family back home. On exams. On the past.
What about HIM? When Peter stepped out of the boat, he had to focus on HIM. Not them. Not current circumstances. Not life. Not family back home. Not exams. Not the PAST. HIM, right here, right now!
Life is ALWAYS full of...stuff! Recetly, I wanted to quit medical school for good, not just take a break. I lay on my bed imagining myself packing, going to the airport to fly home and contacting my former job recruiter to re-enter the working world. I mean really, I could still follow God's plan and suff. Still accomplish the vision He has given me. Right?!? Thankfully, I before making any major life decision I talk to my earthly Daddy. His advice, "Pray then think." I followed his instructions, and I stayed.
So much came to me on that day. I took a step back, didn't go anywhere on that day or the next. Regrouped and watched one of my favorite movies ("Facing the Giants"). Just a little of what I learned: Focus on God, even when He gives me something to do. Medical school is too small a thing to live for; I promised God my life, a full-time, all season convenant. My job at all times: Give it my best and leave the results up to Him. No matter what I see going on around me, it does not change what His plan for me.
Wherever you find yourself, trust Him...actively...don't just say it; do it! Nothing with Him is wasted! And yeah, it's worth it. So stay strong in the stuggle so that you too might walk on water. May 22 God's ChiselTake a few minutes to check out one of the best YouTube Videos I've seen a while.
Enjoy!
Video Link: God's Chisel May 09 White Coat Ceremony We had our White Coat Ceremony this evening. It felt really good. Our speakers remined us to do well for our patients and all else would follow. Our white coats mean a lot and will witness a great deal. We are buying into a profession, a lifestyle, a vocation... I'm in my second semester and there is so much more to go. And go it does, so quickly.
I have that assurance now, I did not "choose" medicine, it chose me. Like Dr. Mani (keynote speaker) stated, this is a vocation. I'm also reminded of the words of Dr. Parker who told me to only go into medicine if I was sure that that was my calling. Each day I learn more of what that means. This is not a journey to take lightly or one that you can just slide into. And even if you do, that does not ensure true success. My calling is medical doctor.
    April 24 First Semester--Done!Hi People!
 I am officially a second semester medical student. Woohoo! There were a few times I wasn't so sure I would make it. Anatomy had me going. It feels so good to be on break. I surprised my dad and came home to GA. Now I'm on my way to Gesundheit! Institute in West Virginia; I been there before so check out the G! photo album.
First semester was tough, but not more than I expected, which is good. I am doing a Masters of Business Administration online, in addition to my med school students. Yeah, I know sounds like suicide but a small price to pay so that I can get the funds I need to chase my dream.
It's funny how things looked when I was pursuing med school versus now that I'm in school. Not really sure how to put this but I'll give it a try. Prior to med school, it was the place that I was running toward but never seemed to arrive at. Intermitently, I did so much cool stuff, things I would have never imagined doing, like going to Africa for 10 months. I can look back and totally priaise God that my plans did not work but His did.
Yes, I would love to be further along in my medical career, married, have a better idea about where I'm going, and all that good stuff. But then again, no I wouldn't!!! Nothing with God is waisted. Every experience, relationship, skill learned, talent discerned, dream deferred, dream refined...it's all worth it and will work together for my good.
Now I'm here, in school. This first semester I struggled but always felt like I had to charge ahead even when part of me wanted to give up. I beleive it was Frederick Douglass who said, "Without struggle there is no progress." Those words ring true. Aside from this, I am always mindful that I am on assignment (as I mention in the Challenge of Staying Connected). It's not about me!
Break: In these few days, I'm trying to hear God on some things. I picked a book by A. W. Tozer called "Man: God's Dwelling Place". I just started yesterday, so I'll have to get back to you on that.
In the meantime, enjoy my few pics taken from the train window this morning as the sun rose over Virginia. Last but not least, stay strong in the struggle.
 April 05 SpecializationEverytime someone asks me about what my future specialty, I laugh and tell them I'm specializing in graduation. I have no clue what area I want to go into. One day when I finally figure it out, I'll let you know. I've worked/volunteered/stumbled into/happened upon a variety of jobs, from grocery store bag girl to mathematics tutor, theater to housekeeping, photography to clinical research coordinator....and a bit of this and that in between. Each one has had it's rewards and downsides. I'm a "Jackie" of all trades and master of none.
Until I figure out something more, here' s a quote I found on one of my favorite blogs (The Simple Dollar)....
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love March 29 The Challenge of Staying ConnectedToday is Sunday and I did not go to church. Yeah, I know, it's not about how many times you go to church, so just "hear" me out. Since it was a planned skip; I also planned to listen to a sermon online. Here's the kicker, I had no idea who to listen to. As one of my friends told me, I'm a bad church goer. I need a sermon with a point and some life application. You and I both know that every sermon is not well thought out.
Moreover, I've moved/traveled so much; I feel a strong disconnect at times from the body of Christ. Mind you I exchange greetings and share the Word with whomever/wherever. But there is something missing as of late, actually since my time in Virginia (late 2007). Like today, I feel like I have no "home church" to speak of. Not to mention, I don't keep up with the latest preachers on the gospel scene.
I feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to do, going where I need to go but there is a cost to being an agent, His agent. He can move you wherever/whenever and your connection becomes more and more dependent on direct communication with him, not church family, sermons, prayer meetings, etc.
I remember reading a devotion in "Streams in the Desert" by Cowan; it was about a woman who had a dream that three women kneeling at an altar. God had interactions with each woman. With the first, He spoke lovingly with many reassurances and loving touches; the second he spoke to briefly, lovingly; the last woman simply received a glance. The woman having the dream asked the Lord for interpretation. Why did He not treat the woman equally? What had the third woman done that was so bad? He replied child, you have inpreted my actions wrongly. The first woman had shallow faith so she needed me to lavish love and reassurance on her. The second woman was more sure in her faith and only needed a little guidance to keep her on the narrow way. And the last, she is one of the finest of my works; in her I am developing the finest faith;I have no doubt that she will serve me in season and out of season. Upon reading this, I prayed God make me like the third woman. I know it will hurt and come at a high price and will not always be what I "want" but Lord I want what you want most.
So I continue to travel and do my thing, trusting that God is going to provide all I need in every way. Sometimes it comes in the strangest forms, in unexpected packaging. Each time it is challenging to connect when I arrive in a new place and to stay connected with those from my past. (Side note: Thank God for family; they share my life no matter where I go. I love you guys!)
Each place/person/task is full of potential and can be for a reason, a season, or a lifetime... I just hope to have the wisdom to let it be what God intended.
February 05 The WallTonight I posted two more quotes on my room wall...
“What you need to know depends on who you intend to influence.” --Ben Carson, MD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not studying for an exam… preparing to be a great physician!!!! --Me J February 02 That CoupleAs I strolled behind you on the beach It's not your age that impressed me so much But your hands firmly clasped Didn't see a weakened gait But legs that had walked innumerable miles together Diidn't notice if you drove in or hopped a bus here But one could clearly see wherever one went the other was sure to follow Nothing about you spoke of material wealth But I'm sure you're rich in what really matters You took the risk to become that couple Umm...can't you hear the music... I hope you still feel small when you stand the ocean... When you get the choice to sit it our or dance I hope you dance... January 20 20 January 2009...Inauguration Day!Attending a school outside the U.S. that does not observe holidays has overcast my thinking about the significance of the day but I will no less provide you with something straight off the cuff...
Wow! The first African-American President Barack Hussein Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama. Each time I think about them and this historic moment in time, I'm reminded of the stories of old. I'm not that old but I have heard time and again poetry, prose and other accounts of days when this did not seem possible. Quotes that keep flowing through my mind...
"I have a dream that one day..." --MLK
"Let Justice Roll Down" --MLK
"Life for me ain't been no crystal stair...places with no carpet on the floor ... sometimes goin' in the dark..." --Langston Hughes
"Without struggle, there is no progress..." --Frederick Douglass
"When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice;
But when a wicked man rules, the people groan." --Prov. 29:2 Even now I think about the Greats I have had the privilege to meet...Rev. Joseph Lowry, Dick Gregory, Francis Welsing, Retired Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Dorothy Height and countless others I have yet to rub elbows with...what do they have to say on a day like today.
So many have given so much... and so much more is still needed! January 19 Days like this...Yesterday (Sunday, 18 Jan 2009) was such a good day. Later, when the summer heat is beaming down or we're dodging tropical storms, please remind me of that Sunday. I woke up brimming with ideas for ministry. Went to church and heard a great sermon about "The Importance of His Presence". Left there and went to school for a gross anatomy tutorial session and walked the beach back home. Ah, the beach walk... I stepped onto the beach at the perfect time. The sun was setting and families were out enjoying each other. I arrived back home to settle in for the evening and talked to a few family members.
In other words, I woke up filled with godly thoughts, heard the Word preached, gained knowledge, basked in the glory of my Father's creation, exercised, shared the love with family, and settled in for a good nights rest.
Wow! Days like this... January 15 Day 7 (Med School): Defining momentsYesterday, while in Histology class, I felt myself cross this "barrier". Two major requirements for success in medical school are organization and belief that you can do it. As they say, the battle is in the mind. The professor was lecturing and I felt myself smiling
 . Why was I smiling? Not cockiness but a true sense of I am going to be a successful med student. "Passing by the skin of my teeth" is not an option. I wish I could fully describe this feeling to you but its difficult. Possibly it's like when you and your team hit that moment when you're really working synergistically and genuinely in unison on another level beyond just getting the task accomplished. Or maybe it's like hitting your "stride" as you work toward some huge finish. Either way, I'm where I'm supposed to be, no doubts about that...if there ever were any.
Each morning I get up and think...well of course there's the usual desire for a few more hours sleep but beyond that...I am doing that thing. That thing you would do each day, even if you don't get paid. I don't dread going to school or the massive amount of information we have to handle. It's all apart of the game and I aim to make the most of it.
"For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the Lord, " Plans not to harm you but plans to give you a hope and a future." ---Jeremiah 29:11
Confirmations of His promises...defining moments...
January 06 Dream on... Start of a new chapter!It's been a while since my last post. Don't worry I didn't forget, a lot has been going on.
I'm now settled into my new location in Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands, where I will attend St. Matthews University School of Medicine. Please feel free to drop me a line or ask queststions as I will be sharing regularly about my experience here. Take good care! Pics will be posted soon.
Dreams! Hmmm...that word and all that it implies puts such a sweet taste in my mouth, a song in my heart and ideas in my mind. Today is my first day of medical school and I can't wait. Our first class (Histology) starts this afternoon. Yesterday, we had orientation. In spite of all the positives and negatives we heard, I look forward to studying here. So far I've only heard good things about the professors, which is good b/c that's what we're here for...to learn.
The island is a nice mix of Caribbean, British and African. At least that's my assessment at first glance. I have yet to really study the culture and socioeconomic structure/social stratification in more depth but as I learn, I'll be sure to share.
It has been a long winding journey to get here and I am so thankful for every step. I feel prepared for such a time as this. No apprehension, regrets or hesitency...I am where I'm supposed to be. My devotional for today says, "The moment we settle in life is the moment we no longer make any progress....A mans' progress in life is in direct proportion to his continual pursuit of excellence." A friend even told me last night, we are too comfortable in singleness. We pray for material things, spritual growth, school, etc., but often times fails at praying for a spouse. I will admit that I have been irregular in praying for him. Seeing so many bad/failed marriages and meeting riffraff has eroded the rose colored glasses. Anywho! that is a whole other subject. My bad!
Back to now, please don't lose sight of your dreams. As time and circumstances progress, don't let the dream die but take it before God and allow him to "retrofit" your dream for the present. It's never too late. And if you for one moment believe that you do no have a dream, consult the Manufacturer.
Dream on Dreamer... October 22 Obama Rally (Miami, FL) 10.212008Yesterday on my way to school, I heard a blurb about the Obama rally taking place on that day. Well I've never been called shy so by the time I left school, I had RSVP'd and found a group to go with. I had too much fun. Also check out the photos.
Real quick...how did it feel to be there? Cheezy but true, I thought about the Cosby Show, the episode where the grandparents and parents reminiscenced about the March on Washington. It was great to just be in the midst with so many people. Yes, I needed to study and we did while we waited for the Obamas to speak. Michelle, I love how she speaks positively about her husband and continutally updates us on how she sees things progressing. Barack, more than a household name, but a "household" voice as well. It was great to see them both in person.
Again, the photos are under the photos tab above.
Enjoy!!! August 25 H J Ross for President!!!Just for you Mr. M!!! Thank you and all of my constituents in advance for your support!!
! July 11 Mt. RainierUpon entering the great State of Washington, aboard the Coastal Starlight, I had a strong urge to visit Mt. Rainier. While living in Seattle, I was able to visit this beautiful sight once. As anyone who has been there, you know once is not enough. Here are just a few pics of area. Unfortunately, the fog was too thick for a hike so hence the shots of the park.
 Train Trip to Washington (Amtrak Coastal Starlight)I departed Santa Barbara, CA, on the Amtrak Coastal Starlight bound for Seattle, WA. My trek ended one stop before Seattle in Tacoma, WA. The train was overall a great experience.
The brochure did not fudge on the scenery. It was gorgeous. I could hardly read because there was so much to see. Definitely a trip that one can take multiple times and still see new stuff, especially as the seasons change. Also, travel in either direction means you will typically be awake for different parts of the journey. if you miss it on the journey north, there is still the possibility of catching the sight on the way south.
Coach class was not bad at all. Actually it was perfect for me since I traveled alone. Had the journey been longer, I would have opted for a sleep car. The seats are quite spacious, with ample storage. I check my one large duffle though I could have stored it downstairs. I like that you have to show your boarding pass in order to collect your luggage at the Tacoma station. Our car was in front of the car with an arcade and one car back from the observation area (upstairs) and snack bar/lounge (downstairs). And in front of this was the dinning car....EUREKA!!! Perfect location for me. I love to take photos and eat.
Dinning on board was good, not too expensive considering the venue. Airline food is a bit more expensive and not as good. The dinning car steward Dominique was a bit groof and very good at his job. His bark is much bigger than his bite; really nice guy.
Definitely a trip I would take again. I would love to have a travel buddy though, either way--alone or with someone--can't wait to do it again. June 22 Summer 2008 TravelsHello World!
I'm on the road yet again. This time for a one month tour within the US. Started in Vegas, currently in San Diego. Next, I take the train up the coast to Washington followed by a stop in Texas. Then back to home.
One month of visiting and fun with those I love.
If you see me, be sure to speak.
See you soon! |
|
|
